2022 - What a year you were!
I think it's rather easy for me to say that 2022 was one of the toughest years I've had to date. Although I welcomed our second beautiful daughter Madailein to our family shortly before 2021 was over, it came very clear that at the beginning of 2022 I began to struggle.
I became a statistic in the system, I became a mother who would suffer from post natal depression. I was 1 in 10 women who struggled emotionally after giving birth.
It's hard.. The worst part about the depression for me was that I felt I was letting my little girls down, as soon as I noticed that I was struggling I confided in my husband, who was the most supportive I could have asked for. I went for counselling all arranged through the health visitors. I didn't know the signs at first - but all I knew was this time last year I was in a very dark place.
Talking about my feelings towards my daughters and how I felt like I no longer had an identity other than being a mum helped me loads.
I worked on myself a lot, I created an identity again for myself around being a mum too, I scheduled in date nights with mr B, and I booked nights out with my sister too.
I went to see my first concert and to be honest got a little bit concert obsessed meaning I finished the year seeing The Script, Coldplay, George Ezra and Robbie Williams.
We moved house, to be honest I feel like the house we had was part of my depression, I felt secluded, alone and a little out of the way of my family. We moved closer to work and I can now say I'm 10 minutes from my dad and big sister. The new house is so much bigger, we have space to breathe again and I'm not surrounded by noisy plastic toys.I have a place to relax and a place to call mine.
Although 2022 started off rough, I learnt that I just needed to fix the things that made me unhappy, and that's exactly what we did. Now 2023 Is about keeping that happiness being there for my girls and growing as a person - as Jenny - not just as a mum.